This may come as a surprise, but dipping my toes into the blogosphere has been, well, pretty scary. It’s that first day at a new school or a new job feeling. Sure, I’m here for my own personal fulfillment, but putting yourself out there to try something new never stops being nerve-wracking, – especially when you’re putting yourself out there for the whole world to see and you’ve never been much of an all-eyes-on-me kind of gal. I mean it when I say starting this took a lot of convincing from my sister and husband telling me I needed a creative outlet. Every time my sister brought it up, I fought back. 

What makes me worth reading compared to the glam fashion bloggers who have their perfectly coordinated closets/lives captured in beautiful pictures? (Not to mention the regular posts/Instagrams I can’t seem to schedule for the life of me.) What makes me so special that I could suddenly become the person saying, “Hey everyone, come see what I think is awesome!” I’m sure you’ve noticed, but the internet can be a pretty viscious place. People are mean, and I’ve never exactly been the queen of confidence. It’s hard to shut up the voice in your head wondering, “What if they hate me?” 

My very wise coworker and mentor told me the key was to think of it like no one was reading, it’s just here for me. But um, suddenly there were a whole bunch of you here too, and I have to admit, that’s pretty awesome.

I’m not writing this post to fish for compliments, believe me. If anything, I’m saying that, for those of you who think the ladies who post selfies and share their lives are all crazy narcissists, we’re not. My first instinct is to hate pretty much any picture of me, and I’m in complete awe when there’s one I like (thrilled if there’s magically more than one). It takes roughly 400 pics before I find one that doesn’t make me feel like a troll, and even then, hellooooo, editing apps. (Don’t worry, I’m not skilled enough to be a complete fraud, but a little filter here and there never hurt anyone.) It takes a lot of effort for me to not go awkward and silent when someone offers a compliment of any sort, even if it’s for something I know I’ve worked hard on. Which may actually be a lesson in itself. Why do we only see our flaws first and refuse to believe those who disagree? When did the mirror or a camera become my enemy? How did confidence in ourselves and our abilities become immediately equated with vanity and ego? And does this fear ever go away? I’m 30, not a teenager, after all.

It may say more about me than I care to share to admit how completely terrified I am to put myself out here, but well, here I am. I’m going to try to have a little more faith in myself and try to embrace my passions and abilities. I’m a people-pleasing Libra who loves pretty things like clothes, crafts, or food (you have to admit, that poached egg was a thing of beauty). I do my best to find them on a bargain…with occasional treats, of course – like I said, I’m a Libra. I try to write well and make this a blog worth reading. I promise I don’t take myself too seriously; my little corner of the Internet is still just my fun little creative outlet. I’d love it if you stuck around, and I hope you find things you like too. 

Now back to the regularly scheduled clothes, food, and pretty things.